FREE AT LAST

Hey y’all!! I haven’t blogged in SO long it feels like! I’ve been super busy, but i’m back!!

Okay so, i’ve been doing a show as a character that shall remain nameless at a resort park who’s name I won’t mention…

It started off like many other jobs. I was excited about the show, excited to be working. Needless to say that slowly faded away. The magic definitely disappeared and I was left working a part-time gig that I hated. I LOVE performing so it wasn’t that. It just became mundane and so easy that I could be thinking about what I was going to eat for dinner during the show! It got so bad that I wouldn’t even invite people to come see it, and if I saw a random person I knew in the audience I would want to crawl under a rock and hide! “THIS IS NOT WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING!!!” lol

So, I prayed “Lord PLEASE give me another gig… PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Something that will challenge me and push me as an actor.” Time passed… nothing…. more time passed…. nothing. Then I heard God say “Stop asking me to take you out of this job. Ask me for the grace to finish!” AWE MAAAAAN!!!! So, I took that to mean that I would be stuck doing this job until September. So I took my thumb out of my mouth and stopped pouting. I was determined to do what God told me to do. I stopped complaining. I asked him to make me strong enough to finish, and with a positive attitude.

Just when I wasn’t looking for it or coveting it I was offered a NEW GIG!!! Not only is it new, but it’s exactly what I prayed for. A show that will push me and challenge me as an actor. In fact,  it’s a Show With One Actor so me and God will have to pull this one off!

Am I ready for the challenge? YES!!!! Maybe that other job was good for something. It taught me how to press thru and not give up. It taught me endurance… exactly what I will need for this next gig!

Free at Last… Can the CHURCH SAY AMEN???

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Seeing in Grey

I’ve been on Big Sister, God Mommy, Auntie duty for a week now, and I LOVE IT! I am having a blast with “my babies” as I call them. They really are fascinating kids. Smart and insightful, and Saved lol! Synia, my 8 year old niece and god-daughter has declared that people who believe in the Big Bang Theory simply need to go to church. Mishal, my 11 year old baby sister, is convinced that folks that believe we evolved from apes are weirdo’s! lol

They are so black and white in their perceptions and ideas. They still know truth from a lie, the real from the fake, wrong from right, and good from bad. It really makes me think about what happened to the rest of us. What age did we start to see in grey? What circumstances caused our vision to become blurry?

Maybe it was college for me…Or the fact that I was afraid of being persecuted for what I really believed. Somehow, I lost my black and white vision. As my vision turned grey, my life also turned grey.  I began to become indifferent. I stopped giving my all to any one or anything. Those are the most dangerous types of people. I can respect someone who is black and white because I know where they are coming from. Those grey folks are not against ya, but they sho’ ain’t fo’ ya!

I am so happy to say I’m not living in “The Grey” anymore. This transformation God is doing in my life is building my confidence. I’m secure enough in myself and Gods word to speak the truth in love.  I’m glad I’m seeing clearly now; and having my Babies around help me see how freeing it is to live in Black and White!

however the barfing and bickering, and taking FOREVER to get ready I can do without! lol

This Blew My Mind!

My homeboy sent me this video on Facebook and it BLEW MY MIND!!!! This song is so amazing. It really got my creative mind going and inspired me! I heard a quote that said “The biggest trick the devil ever pulled was making people think that he doesn’t exsist!” The fact of the matter is that he definitely does and he has used, and is using so many people to further his agenda!! This song really reminded me that I am a child of the King and that I will NOT listen to the lies the devil is constantly trying to tell me! It also gave me a buring desire to help others see that we are really in a war and our souls are being fought over consistantly!!!

PEOPLE NEED TO HEAR THIS SONG AND SEE THIS VIDEO!! Please pass it along!!

The Spirit of “Shut Up”

I learned something today…how to SHUT UP and pray! It is SO HARD!!! I really know how to go back and forth with people when they are saying something that I think is ludicrous.

God has been gracious enough to allow me to write the Small Group curriculum for our churches Small Group’s. Last weeks lesson was about finishing. I have been praying for God to give me another gig so I could leave this current gig I’m doing behind, but I heard God say “stop praying for me to take you out of the job. Pray for grace to finish it.” I felt so stupid when I heard Him say this. How do you write a lesson for others and never see that you’re doing the exact opposite of what you’re writing until later?? Hahahaha! I know I’m a constant source of amusement in heaven!!!

So anyway today at work they came up with another way to make performing almost unbearable. I do a show outside, and today the sun was directly behind me, BURNING my back (black people do get sun burn now days). This particular show had a meet and greet at the end so since my back was burning one of the other performers was nice enough to hold an umbrella over me as I signed autograph books and took pictures with the guests. Before the next Meet And Greet management comes to me and says that we cannot use the umbrella for shade. Nor can we move to the shade unless a choreographer comes and re-choreograph’s it. HUH????  Normally I would have went back and forth with them about how inconvenient this new “rule” is and how it was never choreographed in the first place, but God gave me the spirit of SHUT UP! I just listened and nodded.
I thought of all kinds of rebellious things I could do to make them give me my way! I thought about how this is one of the main reasons I HATE this gig! But I chose to pray and ask God to move the sun for me so that I could stand in shade. I realize this is not my battle to fight. This gig will be over soon and “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). No matter how ridiculous it may seem! God told me to pray for GRACE to finish and that’s what I did!

When I walked outside the area that I stand in was completely covered with shade!!! HALELOOOOO!!!! It may seem like a small thing, but to me it is a testimony that if I just let go, God will take care of it all! He really does care about me!
Lord thank you for your GRACE!!!! Even through my tears and frustration with my current gig I feel His grace and I know He’ll carry me through. He’ll do the same for you. (hey… that rhymed) LOL

Chilli and Cheese Dreams

I WANT CHILLI CHEESE FRIES, AND A FAT BURGER, AND A HUGE MILK SHAKE!!!!!!

Okay… enough of my temper tantrum! LOL Do you know I used to eat Chilli Cheese Fries EVERYDAY for lunch when I was in Highschool?? Everyday! They were $1.25. We were poor so we got the free lunch, but by your Junior year you can’t be seen waiting in the free lunch line. So I’d save my money, or I’d borrow a quarter from 5 friends! LOL Those were the good ol’ days. You could eat tons of fat and it didn’t matter hmmmmm…

For two months now I have been diligent in my eating habits. No fast food, no soda, very little to no potatoes, very little to no bread. Lots of fruits, veggies, fish and chicken. I noticed that I have more energy, and I just feel lighter. Even my skin looks a little better. There are so many rewards in eating healthy! Yet today I ate a salad for lunch and I HATED it. It made my face hurt! LOL!  At that moment I wanted chilli cheese fries. I was willing to give up all my healthy eating for 3 minutes of fries, cheese and chilli. Just to be that highschool junior again…

Please pray for me Saints (lol)… as I type this blog I smell the aroma of steak fries coming from my co-workers plate! I refuse to be a middle-aged fat lady! Not that there is anything wrong with Monique, I just don’t want to look like that. I’ll also shave my legs on a regular basis…Anyway, I’m going to be having children soon and I want to give them a healthy place to grow. I can’t eat like I used to! BUMMER!

It seems like there are so many unhealthy options out there. When I’m eating healthy I feel like I’m eating the same stuff everyday!! Where is the variety? If you have any cool heathy meals you know of please post them here !! It will definitely help me and others who are on the healthy train!! Toot Toot!!

Super Woman

A picture of me playing around infront of a "Juno" statue. I have my jacket stuff under my shirt! Don't get happy! LOL

Okay… so I’ve finally gotten to the place where I want to have a baby!! yes… I said it! Believe me, I’m shocked too! As the months progress I get even more excited wondering if we should just start trying now or wait! Before the thought of having a baby was followed by an immediate “HELL TO THE NAW” LOL!! I figured I had too much life to be living. Ain’t no baby gon’ tie me down!

Living Single

Now, of course pregnancy was a definite no-no before marriage. In fact I would go to any measure to not get pregnant! Except the measure of ABSTAINING…DUH Dani LOL!! I was not a hoe (let’s clarify THAT), BUT I wasn’t holy either! I remember the anxiety of my period being late. Wasting money on pregnancy tests that were always negative. One time I was so paranoid that I took a test in a McDonald’s bathroom. Thank God those days are over!

Newly Wed

Once I got married pregnancy still had a “STOP!!! Do NOT PASS GO!!! DO NOT COLLECT $200” sign.  I would tell people “The hubby and I must have ‘our time'”. “We have to travel”, “We need to be more established first”, “People really shouldn’t have kids so quickly. I mean people don’t even stay married these days, and having a kid in the picture just makes the split harder… Not that we’d ever get divorced but…”. These are all GREAT reasons right? All valid points… Too bad I wasn’t being honest with myself! Really, I was very fearful. “You’re not whole! You can’t bring a baby into this world!”, “You’re not even a good wife. How can you be a good Mother?”, “You’re going to get FAT!”, “What if you can’t have children?”, “Kiss your career GOODBYE!”.

The Present

So, It’s been 3 years. Hubby and I are going strong and getting stronger. Have all my goals been met? Nope. Haven’t traveled a whole lot. I’m still trying to “get on” career wise. We are definitely not as established as we want to be, yet I feel like I’m ready to be a mommy… well that was a strong statement. Not ready, but ready for God to make me ready! LOL I mean what am I waiting for?? If anything a little Dani/Kel will enrich our lives, not stifle it! There is another side of me that I haven’t even met yet! A whole level of love that I haven’t tapped into. I’m excited to experience it all!

Alicia Keys scared Prince and us all when she got on top of that piano! Go Licia!! lol

Am I still vain and superficial and worried about loosing my gorgeous figure… YES, but Alicia Key’s inspired me… I mean if she can look adorable, and fly, still perform, and climb on top of a freakin piano why can’t I?? Aren’t I a Super Woman too??

The Underdog

I don’t know what it is, but I’m always rooting for people who have either messed up big time or those who have been dealt a poor hand! I just LOVE the underdog story!! I love to see people who everyone counted out make it to the top!

Some of it probably comes from my own experiences in life! Seeing my Father overcome drug addiction. Seeing my Mama take care of 3 children for many years by herself. Seeing us go from Hotel Homeless to Movin’ On Up like the Jefferson’s.  It’s just a story that gives me hope! I loved to see people redeemed and brought back to a good place!

So…I LOVED Chris Brown’s performance on the BET Awards. First of all I LOVE MJ. He was my first boyfriend (Billy Jean MJ) and will always have a special place in my heart. No one can convince me that he touched little boys… I don’t care what you say!! LOL. I was so disappointed in the tribute that BET threw together last year. It was just a disgrace…BUT OOOOHHHH did they make it up to us MJ fans this year! Having Chris Brown do the tribute was what they should have done in the first place. I wonder if B, JayZ, and ReRe boycotted?? Anyway, regardless of the trouble Chris Brown got into, he is a phenomenal talent and I KNOW he made Michael proud!

HE KILLED IT!! And to make it even better he cried and couldn’t even sing Man In The Mirror! That really touched me. It seemed like it was more than a performance or a song. It was like he was repenting before God and all of us witnesses. I mean if that was fake then I guess I have no clue as to what is real! I am not saying for one minute that beating up ReRe was right, but I can connect with being so wrong and having a strong desire to be right again and wanting to gain back the trust of those I love!

The thing that kills me is that we live in such an unmoral and unforgiving society. We really know how to kick someone when they’re down. We have no concept of what it means to restore someone and build them back up. That’s why people really need to experience the love of Christ. It makes Underdogs, TOPDOGS! ROOOO ROOOO!!!